I’ve had enough friends, family and clients that pull this shit, that I know it by heart.
You got involved with someone whose red flags seemed pink because you didn’t bother taking your rose-colored glasses off. You figured that when they said that they didn’t want to be exclusive, that they didn’t really want a relationship, no big, you don’t like jumping in too fast either.
You believed them when they said the sweet words and bought you with cheap gifts, you turned their words into what you wanted to believe, rather than paying attention to the unspoken nuances.
You didn’t say anything, you didn’t do anything when you found out that you really aren’t in an exclusive relationship, because they had told you in the beginning that they wouldn’t be.
You believed that you were happy, you convinced yourself that you were loved, that your partner just needs more time, needs to get their shit together, needs to recover from old hurts, old heartbreaks.
Then you started to believe that if you’re already all in, but they aren’t, it must fucking be you, you’re just not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, skinny enough, wealthy enough. You must just not be enough. You always suspected, so now you know.
Yeah, that’s what you had yourself convinced of.
But what you forgot to look at is that you marked yourself down like a fucking bargain basement deal. You did. When you were ready to make it a relationship, you didn’t say anything definite. You just asked, you just suggested, begging like a starving dog as if you aren’t worth anything but scraps.
It isn’t that you aren’t enough. It’s just that you didn’t insist on your value. You didn’t think, believe, know, that you are worth so much more.
You had yourself convinced that you could end up wanting what they want, that you could just deal with not feeling like number one.
Listen, there is nothing wrong with people who don’t want an exclusive relationship. As long as they are dating only like-minded folks.
But that doesn’t always happen, because love is power, and there are those out there who will take the love that you give them, gorge themselves on it, and then turn around and give that love to someone else, or to themselves, but they will share their love with you…only in so much as it will keep you running behind the car, trying not to be strangled by the leash.
So why do you believe that you are a discounted product? All of that work that you’ve put into becoming the person that you are, that magnificent work of art that is entirely one of a kind and impossible to reproduce, and you’re going to discount that shit? For what? Faux relationships and counterfeit connections?
Who are you missing out on while you’re investing your time, energy and love on a pipe dream? Even if the person that you’re missing out on is yourself, aren’t you worth it?
I sure the fuck think so.