reflection

I recently noticed a crisis of faith, not in the gods, the spirits, anything like that. It’s a growing crisis of faith in humanity, that which I have loved so dearly, all of my life.

I guess I don’t understand.

I’ve never wanted to be mean to people, to animals, I don’t want to tear shit down, I don’t want to hurt people. I don’t know, I guess I try to always remember that Pandora made sure that she saved Hope. I have always had hope. But everyone’s pissed at everyone else and trying so hard to destroy each other. Children are dying, children are in cages, children are being raped, enslaved, enlisted, kidnapped, children. Like….how? I don’t get it. It isn’t other children doing this. It isn’t the devil, it isn’t monsters or demons, it’s adults, human adults.

I don’t get it. I know the psychology behind it all, I’ve read the scientific articles from the psychiatric community and I get that part, but you know, my expertise is in the soul and that’s what I don’t get. The soul, the energy that gives us life, that connection to what was, what is and what will be…doesn’t that hurt?

When I am cruel. When I am mean. When my temper flares and I say things that I regret. When I cast in anger and it does more damage than I had intended. When my vengeance is successful. I feel such sorrow. I feel such a damage to my soul. It is a Prometheus-level injury, and entirely self-inflicted.

So if I hurt that bad, then I guess I just don’t understand how these people can speak, think, act, commit such cruelties and not be bleeding from their eyeballs with the pain in their souls.

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