In Hiding

Today is the feast day of Amaterasu and Saint Alexius of Rome.

They hid, she in a cave, stubbornly raging against her brother, and Alexius hid in plain sight, because who expects a wealthy man to be the man begging at your door?

I thought of you, how you hide, hiding from strangers, from those who might hurt you, a life that might let you down, and so you stay hidden, keeping that light of yours from shining brightly for the rest of us.

I get it, I really do, it’s scary out here, and you probably will get hurt, but you’ve been hurt before, and you’re still here, and you’re still shining, and you’re still breathing…sometimes.

And sometimes you don’t, you catch yourself gasping for air because you’ve held your breath for too long, you didn’t even notice until you felt the weight of your chest, the need to inhale.

I thought of you, because it’s okay to be scared, to close your blinds and hide away, from us all. But you can’t stay there, we miss you already, you might not think so, your self-talk might be saying, “they don’t really need you, or want you, you…are unworthy” and you should slap that self-talk right in the kisser, because I can feel it, the world is a little less comforting and comfortable, because you…haven’t yet come out from hiding.

Amaterasu – Japanese goddess of the sun

Saint Alexius of Rome – Patron saint of travelers, beggars, poor, wanderers, gatekeepers, doormen, nurses, and introverts, those suffering from social anxiety.

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